70-Year Old Man Inserts Steel Kitchen Fork Into His P*nis During Masturbation

Doctors have removed a 10cm long steel fork inside a man’s penis, after a sexual adventure went horribly wrong. The 70-year-old visited Canberra Hospital’s emergency department complaining of bleeding genitalia.

He then promptly admitted that he had inserted a piece of cutlery into his urethra in an attempt to satisfy himself. Unfortunately the attempt backfired and it became stuck, leaving him in considerable pain before rushing to the hospital. 

Doctors say the practice tends to occur 'during states of pathological masturbation, substance abuse and intoxication'. God help him, lol